TRULY DISTURBING

I had an Hebrew exam Tuesday and found myself unable to focus. I had not slept much, my vision was blurry, my body was aching from a long night's work. Although I hate the heat, I felt that I needed some fresh air and time to meditate before I took my exam. While standing outside, I noticed a young African-American female waiting anxiously for her ride. Normally, I pay little attention to others while meditating, however, she was engaged in an hostile conversation using words that no lady should use; with no regard for potential listeners. A few moments later, a man appeared and questioned her about the conversation. After she explained that it was a disagreement between friends, he further questioned her about standing in a place other than where they had agreed to meet. "Where were you and why are you out here?" he asked. "Is it him?" he asked while pointing in my direction. I had never seen the young woman before. "No," she replied. "I don't know him." "Then who?" he responded. "It must be someone." The conversation moved beyond an interrogation into verbal assault. He cursed and berated the young woman as she cried and tried to reassure him that she had made an innocent mistake. She had simply forgotten where they agreed to meet. Unsatisfied with her answer, he continued to scold her; she continued to cry. She looked embarrassed. She looked battered. She looked helpless. It reminded me of the stereotypes and the way that society at large views Black men and the way we treat Black women and my heart is broken. How could he treat her that way; and more importantly, how could she allow it? How could she, an intelligent woman, think so little of herself, that she did not demand better? I have two beautiful daughters, and I dread the day that anyone abuses them; either physically, verbally, or mentally. Psychologists predict that most women marry men that remind them of their fathers. Perhaps, this is where it all begins; with fathers. I have been accused of being an overprotective father that spoils his children. I have been told that I have made it almost impossible for any man to fill my shoes. I think that is great. I tell my daughters to marry a man that loves and respects them as much as their father. I believe that if they do, then they will find more than a husband; they will find a friend and a lifelong partner.